English...wow...just before Christmas!

Still struggling with a little ill health, mr le marquis will take advantage of the period, and wish you all a Happy Christmas and Good New Year, hoping to be back to full forces in 2012.



Have a nice time......

In parting, here is a little thing regarding the English language.....

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Asylum for the verbally Insane

 

 

                 We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes 

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose  should never be meese

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

                                                                                 

If the plural of man is always called men

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a  pair be called beet?

 If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

                                                                                          

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of breathren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

 

let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in

eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

                                                                                                          

 English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,

we find quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,

and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

                                                                                       

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid

 of all but one of them what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

 

In what  other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship

                                                                       

We have noses that run and feet that smell. And how can a slim chance

and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your

 house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form

by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

So if father is pop, how come mother isn't mop?

                                                                                       

And that is just the beginning - even though this is the end.

Everything works out in the end, If it hasn't worked out,

it's not the end.

 

(author unknown)

Unknown maybe, but damned intelligent!

Related articles

• Why English Can Be A Problem (5ptsalt.com)
• If the word 'mouse' in plural is 'mice' and the word 'lice' in plural is 'lice' then why do you say 'houses' instead of 'hice' (wiki.answers.com)
• The plural form of the shellfish is "crab." Unless you're selling VD, then carry on (engrishfunny.failblog.org)
• What is the plural of pant (wiki.answers.com)